Thursday, 2 February 2012

Let's Not Get To Hasty!


Very good day yesterday managed to offend no one and kept to my recovery disciplines as in a quick pray up in the morning, a bit of meditation on the move and an AA meeting in the evening. Still at the Mindfulness Meditation it can bring up some powerful experiences whilst in mid flow yesterday I got an almost overwhelming feeling of loss it was intense and actually felt like physical pain on the left side of my head this only lasted for a minute or so. I have spent several years desperately ignoring these types of feelings by avoidance or escapism only to get bogged down in negativity. The loss centered around my feelings toward myself and others which have deteriorated vastly over the last several years and the ever present contributing factors the loss of my younger brothers [Brendan dead and Eamonn missing] and the loss of my Soul Sister also dead. I’m at peace with myself and the world today as a result of staying with the feelings and maybe it is the start of healing. Relationships can be mended, in fact are being mended primarily with myself and then branching out and AA gives me a perfect opportunity to practice Love and Service the tried and trusted way to gain freedom from self!

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